November 9, 2012

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Stitch by Stitch

November 7th marked five years since losing Judson.  The anniversary of his death always includes lots of raw emotion for me; my heart was torn to pieces when Judson left my arms and it is ever so slowly being stitched back together.  But the seams of healing get especially pulled, yanked, and stretched on days that accentuate Jud’s absence.  Some of the sutures unravel, some of the threads break and fray, and some of the holes tear, leaving my heart more tender, raw and exposed.

Yet, the loosening and rupturing of the stitches simultaneously highlights their welcomed presence.  I am more aware of the ways my heart continues to be bound up, gradually sewn together over time.  God is mending my heart.  Although the torn edges are always visible, as they are restoratively stitched together, my heart grows in its capacity to function in the face of brokenness…

Stitch by stitch by stitch.