March 27, 2012

General Life, Jessie, Loss, Parenting

How do you respond when your five-year-old daughter comes running into your presence and declares, “I’m engaged!” as she holds out her hand with a new sparkling ring adorning her finger?

“Gagey, just got down on one knee and asked me to marry him,” she enthusiastically announced to me and Gage’s mom who was standing with me.

“Really?!!??  What did you say?” we both asked in unison.

“I said yes,” she replied jumping up and down as she gazed at her new ring.

The whole scenario was precious, indeed.

But what we thought was a brief role-play between two kindergarteners has had more staying-power than any of us first anticipated.  Gage’s “proposal” to Jessie occurred several months ago, but it has carried all the seriousness five-year-olds can grasp.  Jessie has never once removed her ring, they both speak of their impending marriage “when they are adults,” they frequently make gifts and write notes to each other, while also wanting to commit their time and energy to their relationship.  It is truly hilarious and touching all at once!

Gage is a smart, respectful and sensitive little guy—our neighbor and son of dear friends.  He was there holding Jessie’s hand on the first day of school, they eat their snack together at kindergarten each day, and regularly play with one another in our neighborhood.  In fact, it would be hard not to have a five-year-old crush on such a sweet and cute little guy.  But a few weeks ago, I realized their engagement carried a totally different significance for Jess.

She and her friend Emma were in the backseat of my car conversing.  They began chatting about the engagement when Jessie made a suggestion, “Emma, you could marry one of your brothers.”

“I don’t want to marry any of my brothers!” Emma emphatically replied.

“Well, I would marry my brother, but he isn’t here.  Gage is like a brother to me.  That’s why I want to marry him.”  In that moment, I realized Gage was meeting a special need in her young, grieving heart.

So, how do you respond when your five-year-old daughter declares that she’s engaged?

Well, I rejoice that God has seen fit to provide her a friend that can fill some of the void in missing her brother.  I’m a fan of her “Gage-ment!”


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12 Comments on “Engaged!”

  1. The International Dinner Project Says:

    I never thought of that. Our son was always going to marry a girl who is a daughter of good friends, they’d played together since birth – so much so that teachers said they were like brother and sister, maybe she was his sister surrogate, since he has two brothers… thanks for the interesting (and cute) read.

  2. Jamie L. Hackett Says:

    Absolutely beautiful! I must say this brought tears to my eyes. The love Jessie has for Judson, is so abundant that it shows in everything she does, from the simple to the sweet. Such a precious soul as Judson’s, touches lives and leaves lasting impressions upon all who have the fortune to know him, either in person or in story. Congratulations Jessie! 😉 Blessings and love to you all.

    -Jamie L. Hackett xoxo

    • CLevasheff Says:

      Awww…thanks for your sweet tears, Jamie, and for caring so much about Jud and our family!

  3. Michal Ann Says:

    Precious! My mom and dad met as infants on their mothers’ laps. My dad put a note under mom’s classroom door in first grade “Gay loves Dot.” (Galen and Dorothy) It was a bonded and wonderful relationship til they were parted by mom’s death over 40 years later. He never remarried…

    I’m so happy your beautiful daughter Jessie has a special special friend. Her love for life grows every day.

    • CLevasheff Says:

      Wow! What an amazing story about your parents, Michal!! I guess you just never know…

  4. Jan Garrick Says:

    My son and daughter are 11 months and a day apart. My son, when he was 5 was playing house with his sister when I heard him say “I love you Keelana.” I told him that was sweet and he said he was going to marry her when they grew up! It was adorable as she returned his idea, then I had to figure out how to explain to them why brothers can’t marry their sisters, as age appropriately as I could. That was a tough call, but sweet to see their love for one another as best friends too.

  5. Angie Green Says:

    Absolutely precious – – Jessie will surely marry someone very special like her brother, Jud and/or her Daddy! She has good taste and you have planted important seeds of love in her heart and soul, for her family, God her Father and others – – – so enjoyed reading about her “Gage-ment!”

    • CLevasheff Says:

      Thanks, Angie. I trust and continually pray for God to provide for her a husband who loves God dearly and cherishes her too. 🙂

  6. Anne Myerscough Says:

    Absolutely great post. Heartfelt and humours all at the same time 🙂

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